Bitter Lucidity
by AliceMitch09
Summary: Why was it, that every time he this close to touching her, he'd wake up? Why, when he longed for her so long, she'd disappear? Why does she act like nothing had happened in his next dreams? Why? Sequel to 'Sweet Lullaby' R&R plez WARNING: OCness and relation to the Arcobaleno! Don't like, Don't read!


**I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack~ ? xD**_  
_

**Anywhozers, the sequel's been in my head in a while now. Well, months later after I listened to the song my sister put on repeat a few days back. AND, I kinda thought it was necessary to put it up since I wanted to feed you guys with my OC. YAY OC'S! This is her third appearance already! (the second is on my other fic, just mentioned though)**

**AGH, I really need a personal laptop -_- pray with me folks that I can get one after graduation. TO BE ~**

**Disclaimer: KHR is Akira Amano-sama's!**

**OC and plot is MOINE!**

**The music is nawt moine as well, it belongs to Steam Powered Giraffe's!**

* * *

_Her._

The only person who filled Yamamoto Takeshi's mind for the last 3 weeks. _Her, _that same girl with her luscious long chocolate brown locks, fair white complexion and her gorgeous…gorgeous pair of hazel brown eyes of hers.

He could not forget her, nor does he ever want to rid of her in his mind. That sweet gentle voice of hers, how longing and warm did it sound to him.

'_Takeshi…You'_

He what? What had he done to her? Or was there something he should do?

"I what…" he asked himself in a soft whisper.

Tears were prickling down her face when he finally caught up to her, that encounter was probably the first time they were ever that close to each other. He raised his hand from the comfort of his sheets and opened them, like it was reaching for something from his ceiling.

_Soft_, were her cheeks. She had such soft warm cheeks that reminded him of holding a small rabbit. He yearned to touch her face once more, just to see her face.

_Why was she so sad when she saw me? _

Usually whenever he dreamt of her, they were usually in places from his childhood memory where there was absolutely no one but them there. Like always, she had her back facing him and she was doing something to keep herself occupied and he just watched her from his place, taking in her features. There a time where _she_ broke the distance as she laid a flower crown on his head from behind, then ran away giggling in glee when she found him chasing after her. What were absurd about that time though were the tears streaming down her face. Tears of joy? Tears of sadness? What?

It was unfair.

Why was it, that every time he _this_ close to touching her, he'd wake up? Why, when he longed for her so long, she'd disappear? Why does she act like nothing had happened in his next dreams? Why is it that she knows of these places? Why does he feel like she's someone very special and endearing to him? Why would the thought of her cause a disarray of emotions in him? Why? He asks himself time and time again.

One time, he awoke to the sound of someone bidding him farewell. He jumped from his bed, panicked and confused as to what was that all about. But what really took him by surprise was the fresh tears trailing down his face accompanied by a certain longing from his lips, like someone sweet had recently touched them.

A few months later, he began dreaming of her.

Why?

That was the question he keeps asking himself with no valid answer or whatsoever.

Was it possible that he did this on his own, dreamt of her out of the blue? Did he intend to do that without knowing? A long-lost feeling erupted from within doing such just to…to…get her back? Dreams regarding her always had them being far from each other's reach. His last dream gave him an idea; she was scared of them being near each other.

* * *

So here he was now, dressed in a plain light blue buttoned down dress shirt, formal black vest left open, dress pants and black sneakers. He was surrounded by unfamiliar people covered in various masks in assorted designs and colors. He was the only one without one though, but nobody seemed to mind.

His feet began to move on their own, leading him somewhere into a sea of crowd. Very gently music could be heard, it had a sort of sad and unpleasant feeling that was unfitting with the crowd. Like it was meant for two lovers really. Two lovers destined to be by each other's side. How unorthodox of this setting.

Turning his head to the side, he observed how intricately these people moved. Masks of different cultures seemed to clash here and there, some covered their faces entirely, some where in half horizontally or vertically, some had feathers and jewels on it and some had none. Takeshi chuckled heartily at how interesting people with wealth can be.

His feet suddenly halted at the center of the hall, where he stood out from every male from the crowd. No one bothered him, nor did anyone approach him, just stuck in place chattering mindlessly. Above him stood a very large and expensive-looking chandelier; real gold, crystals and jewels accented it. It was every thief's dream and one wealthy person's wanting. And he must say, it was really beautiful. Especially if you angle your head lightly to the side to catch the crystal clash with the moonlight, lighting up the jewels glistens like stars.

Slowly dropping his head from the chandelier, he though he saw a pair of very familiar hazel brown eyes watching him. They locked gazes before she suddenly disappeared.

"No" he panicked, desperately breaking into the crowd searching for her.

He was on her spot, only to have an unknown person stand before him. He turned from his place, rushing in moving place to place only to sigh in defeat when she couldn't be found.

Panic began to seep in, any moment he might wake up and he didn't want that. No sir, not without getting to her first.

He found himself again at the center of the hall, short pants coming out from his mouth as he bent over, resting both hands on his knees.

Everywhere he went every female he found with matching dark brown locks he'd find – Nothing. Absolutely nothing came up. Was she doing this on purpose? To get away from him? If so, then she'd have to back fire, because Takeshi was not planning to give up.

With a brand new determination, Takeshi stood from his place scanning the crowd for a familiar hazel eyed dark brunette female. Just as he took a few steps from his spot, there she was – right in front of him. She didn't notice him until she lifted her head; she looked just as shocked as he was.

A half of her hair was tied up into a fashionable bun, while the other half lay sprawled across her bare shoulders. Light make-up applied on her face. Gorgeous hazel brown eyes framed behind a simple white mask, a few blue jewels on the edge. Her dress was rather plain; light blue dress that stopped just by her knees, dark blue satin just below her breasts with bows on each side, white pumps and a wooden crossed necklace around her throat. A faint blush spread across her cheeks as they stared each other.

"T-Takeshi…" he heard her stammer with that sweet voice of hers.

"I found you…"

Her brows furrowed upwards, a forlorn expression on her face like it read she never wanted him here. He watched as she quickly brought her hands to either side of her cheeks, feeling the heat creeping from them head hanging in embarrassment unable to look at him straight. His eyes never left hers as he walked towards her.

A new music played, somehow befitting the mood between the two. Everyone seemed to disappear, leaving them the only ones at the center of the dance floor. He didn't notice that, only focusing his eyes at the female before him. **[cue in 'Honey Bee' by Steam Powered Giraffe!]**

He bowed politely before her then offering his hand.

"Takeshi, wha-"

"May I have this dance?" he cut her off, a serious and new Takeshi looking at her.

She said nothing for a while, dropping her head to look at his hand. Biting her lip in uncertainty as the music slowly started, the strum of the guitar mirrored her being unsure of what he wanted and her mixed feelings.

She exhaled a breath. Clenching and unclenching her hands as she slowly, very slowly reached out to his. Surprised when he kissed it gently, eyes still locked with hers.

Snaking his arm around her waist and resting her hand in his shoulder, with their hands raised to their side the two danced slowly to the beat of the music.

Her head hung from the taller boy as she found the hem of her dress rather interesting. Takeshi just stared at her, not sure what to feel now that they're this close to each other. He slowly brought her closer to him so that they were chest to chest, arms instinctively tight on her lower back.

Her hand dropped from his shoulder, sliding it past his collarbone feeling his built chest against his clothes and his steady heartbeat. It stayed there, wanting to feel his heart against her touch. Eyes fluttering shut, all her attention went to the steady beat coming from his chest.

Fear, Lost, Strength, Uncertainty and…Longing.

She felt all those from him, the last one creating a huge dent in her heart. She felt so horrible. It was her fault this was happening. No matter how much she wants to tell him, she can't. For the cause will be for nothing. She did this, for him, for everyone. One unselfish wish of hers equaled a great price. And no matter how much it ached her heart to see him like this (even for a dream) and to see him so desperate for answers he's been dying to ask her, she selfishly and unwillingly chose to break both of themselves. It was forbidden. Just this once, she'll be kind to herself. Just this once with him, then it'll be over for good.

Feeling a bit brave, she slowly lifted her head to his eyes locking to one another.

Takeshi was speechless, unable to think straight or look away. Because he didn't want to turn away from this moment, a moment that seemed everlasting. She had the most beautiful pair of hazel eyes, it was like no other. Like you could lose yourself into them, like it was sucking into your very soul. Almond shaped eyes that gave you curiosity as to how she sees the world beneath them.

"Yamamoto Takeshi" she whispered, soft pink lips of hers parted lightly.

Bringing himself closer, he rested his forehead against hers wanting to lose himself in her gaze, wanting to stay that way forever, just once.

"Yes" he answered, inhaling her lavender scent.

Suddenly, something in them was inviting the other. They slowly brought their faces together, forgetting the world around them, breaking the distance as their lips met.

Warm fluttering feelings began to erupt – butterflies in their tummies and sparks flying. It was like the world stopped for them to lavish this moment together. Like they were given a long-lost chance to them both - a chance long forgotten and lost. The chance both of them were dying to have.

He cupped her head in order to bring her closer, his other hand wrapped around her waist. Their lips mashed into each other, wanting more of the other. From his chest, her hand glided its way to his neck holding him close. Her other hand found its way to his hair, massaging his scalp then grabbing a fistful of his black locks.

Her kiss was so sweet and addicting, that made him crave for more. Whereas his were like a drug, addicting and electrifying that it sent pleasurable tingles down her spine making her want for more. She broke the kiss for a breath before Takeshi went in for another, nibbling her lower lip giving it gentle sucks earning delectable moans from her.

His heart plummeted at a fast pace, almost like it wanted to skyrocket out of his chest. He heard his heart beat in his ears when she reciprocated the kiss reluctantly. His wistful little tongue licked her mouth desperately seeking for entrance which she so desperately wants to avoid. Sneaking a hand to one of her breasts, he molded the soft mould allowing her mouth to part and his tongue to slither in. He found his way into her wet cavern, licking every corner and memorizing her taste. Her timid little tongue met his and engaged into a wicked waltz, prying and wrestling each other like pythons.

She pulled away once more, leaving a trail of saliva attached to each other's lips. Takeshi was about to lean in over for another heated exchange only to have her finger on his lips. Resting her head on his chest, she allowed herself to regain her composure and mind set. The kiss left her lips tingling and yearning for more.

Takeshi seemed to get the message, giving her palm a kiss then to her forehead returning to their dance. Slowly moving to the beat, he was immediately reminded that this was a dream. And any time, she might have to disappear. He didn't want that.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled into his shirt, taking him by surprise especially when he felt her shake against his chest.

"Wha-"

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…I'm so terribly sorry Takeshi…" she repeated into his chest like a mantra, shaking her head forlornly.

"Hey…" he tried to call out to her, but she was sputtering out words. Sad, devastating and guilt-filled words.

"I'm sorry…for everything…for hurting you…for bringing you into this mess…for being selfish…fo-f-f-f-for-" she choked in her throat, slowly breaking into sobs.

They still swayed to the beat, slower this time. Matching their steps to the song that caught up the mood between the two; a song so sad and guilt-filled.

He somehow muted down. Not opening his mouth, keeping it in a fine line to listen to her. Silently waiting for the right time to speak.

"I-It's my fault" she admitted very slowly "I-I-I caused this" dropping her hands from his, she wrapped it around his back holding him tight "I-I…I didn't mean for this to happen Takeshi" taking a deep shaky breath, she went on "I-I really…really…"

Feeling a bit brave, she leaned up to kiss him quickly yet sweetly. Then she looked up to him with tear-filled hazel eyes, a sad small smile delicate on her lips.

"I…love you…so…much"

He stopped moving, and just stared.

She loves him. So much.

With his shock, she knew that he'd never remember anything. Hanging her head, she smiled bitterly at her state. About her. About them. They were never to be. She was just a fragment of his dreams – a nightmare to be exact. She was a nobody to him. A ghost of a forgotten past. She swallowed this fact and accepted it, even though it killed her from the inside.

Just as she was about to let him go, a soft warm pair of lips kissed her head. Calloused hands of his lifted her head to meet his, lips were only inches from each other.

"And I love you" he whispered honestly.

Hazel brown eyes widened in shock. He loved her back? Even when he barely knew her?

To prove his love, he kissed her thin lips softly. Then her cheeks, nose and eyes not caring for the mask still in tacked. Tongue licking away traces of her tears away.

She only cried harder, burying her head at the crook of his neck.

"How can you say that? H-How can y-you l-l-love me, w-when you b-barely know me?" she asked with a broken voice.

So broken that he could feel it.

"Because…" there was something constricted on his throat and a lodging feel in his heart "I…I just do…I just do…"

He just loved her? What did he entirely mean by that?

"What?" she whispered, touched by his previous response.

"You heard me, I love you because…I just do" the statement didn't make sense to his ears. But something in his heart whispered that it was the right thing to say.

"Are you sure about that?" asked her, her heart sped fast. Each thumped sounded like it was for joy.

Offering a soft smile, he nodded "I'm sure. My mind tells me otherwise, but my heart speaks louder. I may not know you, but I know my heart does. And trust me when I say that. Through all my battles, it was my heart that made all the right decisions and choices. I am alive up to this point because I listen to my heart. My mind can scold me all it wants, but I don't worry about it."

It was the sweetest thing he has ever told her. Poetic and heartwarming words, like him. Like he always was.

For the first time, she finally smiled. And for the first time, she was gonna set things right for them both. Reaching for his hands she placed hers over his and lifted it to her ear where the bands that held the mask lay. His brown eyes widened in shock, is this really happening?

"Take them off" she ordered kindly with a smile.

Feeling all tongue-tied and shocked he asked "A-Are you sure?"

The smaller brunette slowly nodded her head, not letting his bigger hand go.

"I'm sure"

"B-But, what if something happens? W-What if, I…you know…wake up-"he was silenced by a sudden kiss to his lips.

"Trust me, you won't" she promised to his lips over tiptoed steps.

Takeshi looked at her brown eyes to be sure. And it was, they have never been this straightforward and strong like before. She was sure, she was promising. He's wanted this, and he'll finally get it.

Tracing the shell of her ears with his finger, she shivered a bit to his touch. Trusting him to do the rest, her hands dropped to her sides as she anticipated the revelation.

Successfully removing the band from her ears, he exhaled a breath before slipping off the mask completely from her face. Silently praying that nothing would ruin this moment or that no one would wake him up.

_Please, Please, Please!_

Mask separated from his face, she took a step back and lowered the mask for him to fully see her face.

There she was, finally. That one girl he's been dreaming of. The nightmare in the form of her, nightmare would be a misconception. She was an angel!

Finally, right in front of him.

It was her.

"Ryoko…" he breathed out her name.

Said girl smiled at him nodding slowly.

"Kazeshini…Ryoko?" she chuckled nodding her head once again.

A wave of nostalgia swarmed over in his head. That field, he was playing for the first time and she was there to cheer for him. That green meadow, she dragged him there that day playing under the summer sun and searching for a four-leafed clover. That library, he was quietly searching for her only to find her crying on her knees.

These were all…

…Memories?

"I'm surprised you know me Takeshi." The girl, Ryoko said sadly and sarcastically "But that doesn't matter, because you don't remember me. No one does. I erased your memories concerning me so that you'll all be saved from Checker Face. The promise I made with him, it had to be done."

_Checker Face_?

Wait, did this mean she was related to the Arcobaleno? To everyone?

"W-What do you mean?" he asked, advancing a few steps to her.

Hanging her head, she stared at her wooden cross absent-mindedly tracing the carvings on it. Carvings of the moon, the sun, the stars, the clouds and a heart. Somewhat, they seemed contradict with her. Gripping her wooden cross, she bravely looked up.

"My clan is the true founder of the Arcobaleno, not Checker Face. He was a lie. Just wanted power, and to do that he ruined my clan's name. He tricked Bermuda into killing each and every one of us, thinking that we wanted the seven strongest gone. Took away Lola Luche's true relation with our clan. Took away the Vongola and Shimon's relation with our clan. He even took away Lolo Talbot's memory" a tear slipped down her face but she went on "My clan's purpose of the Arcobaleno is not to kill them, but to ensure peace and prosperity for a certain period of time. The pacifiers serve as their seal of promise, as their power. But, Checker Face came and changed all that. He changed everything." Using the back of her hand, she wiped away a stray tear.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked, clearly confused as to where this was going. All he wanted was to see her face and to know who she was to him. How did she know about Checker Face? About the Arcobaleno?

"Because I am the last of my clan, the last princess and because I am the reason for the Representative War."

"Y-You?" he asked in bewilderment. She was the cause of the Representative War? Wait, she did say it was Checker Face's fault. But it was her clan that started the Arcobaleno. Argh! Now things have just been complicated.

Sauntering over to him, she wrapped her arms around him "Yes Takeshi, it was my fault" she mumbled softly.

"B-But why-"

"That's not important Takeshi…what is important right now is that I have to bid you goodbye"

Her last statement took him by surprise, shaking him to the core. She was going to leave him? When they both just…reunited? Reconciled? How can she say goodbye?

"What?" he choked out, breaking from the hug to cup her face "Why are you saying goodbye?"

Biting her lower lip, she prepared the words very carefully in her head.

"I have to Takeshi; otherwise, all my efforts would go to waste. If you all remember me, then my promise to Checker Face would have gone to waste. And if that happens," she closes her eyes and says lowly "he might kill you all.

Putting a finger to his mouth, she didn't let him speak. For she had more important things to tell him. It was going to be difficult to break it to him.

"This will be the very last time that we will be with each other Takeshi..." she sniffed, cupping both his cheeks lovingly unable to look at him in the eye. "The very last time..."

"Wha...No!" he lifts her head to his, resting forehead against forehead.

The tears on her eyes caught him by surprise, just as his tears caught hers. Mirroring each others emotion, a deep pain filling the two. Both not wanting to be the last time, and not wanting to let go.

He kisses her again, through the tears and pain. Desperation and Angst stabbed deep into each kiss as they both didn't want to let go. They were feeling more than what they should. Clutching unto the other like their life depended on it, bringing them closer and closer as if possible. Chest to chest, they felt each other's hearts beating as one. Beating to the same rhythm.

They then parted for air, a string of saliva connecting the two.

Arms wrapped around the other, they didn't let go. Afraid that if they do, they may break from the other's loss.

But this was her fate, and she could not evade it. No matter how much she tries, or find another way, it had to be done.

"Please...Please don't leave me..." he whispers, hot breath tickling her face.

She looks at him in the eye, shaking her head sadly.

"As much as I don't want to, I must Takeshi...This is my promise, my fate and your lives are all depending on it"

He breaks into sobs, resting his head at the crook of her neck giving it gentle kisses as it associated with his tears.

"I don't want you to go..."

"I have to go..."

"I need you...!"

"I need you more"

Silence filled in, warm light to her aide forming a pair of wings behind her.

"Stay for me?" he tries.

But she breaks into a silent sob, smiling sadly at him as she prepares to ascend away from him.

"I'm sorry Takeshi..."

Slowly, her 'wings' are complete lifting herself from him. She seemed angelic and godly, especially when 7 flames appeared on her forehead. Storm, Lightning, Mist, Sky, Rain, Sun and Cloud. Behind the Sky flame, stood a tranquil colorless flame. No distinct attribute was felt, and its identity remained but a mystery.

"This is goodbye Takeshi..." she bids, looking at him one last time.

"No-" he bravely watches her go, feeling his heart die a little inside. "Will I ever see you again?"

Her wings stopped lifting her, hazel eyes of hers looking down on him, her hands gripping her wooden necklace instinctively.

Quirking into a small and understanding smile filled with hope, she told him. "Maybe someday..."

"Then I'll wait for you" he tells her "Even if it will take forever, I'll wait for you." he promises, all of a sudden a certain memory comes into mind.

_'You promise?' asks a girl with chocolate brown hair tied into twin braids._

_'Hm! I promise!' says 7-year old Takeshi._

_She still looks at him in doubt, that's when Takeshi reels in to say it to her face._

_'Cross my heart and hope to die, I will promise you this.'_

"Cross my heart and hope to die, I promise you this Kazeshini Ryoko, I will wait for you"

* * *

The next day, Takeshi awoke to the blinding rays from the sun shining down his window. He groggily stands from his bed as he tiredly rubs his eyes from tiredness and from the dry tears from last night. A proof that it was once again, a dream.

As he stretches his limbs over his head, another memory flashes before his eyes.

Memories of him and her, Kazeshini Ryoko, returning to him.

Memories when they first played under the rain. She happily told him the reasons why she favored rainy seasons a lot.

_'I like the rain because it has such gentleness and hidden bliss on it. The rain, it wipes away the dust and unwanted feelings allowing new ones to come along. They color up the world with every pitter and patter. And lastly, when I see the rain, I can finally say that skies do cry'_

Memories of when he first played baseball. She was there, shouting at the top of his lungs to do his best. The reason why he was dedicated to this sport as of today.

'_GO TAKESHI! DO YOUR BEST!'_

Memories of the times she'd cry on his shoulder the nightmares that haunted her every night. She was always prone to those, unable to sleep properly for days at the early age of 8. He was always there to relieve her of those, running his fingers through her chocolate brown locks as he sang that song his father sings whenever she had nightmares.

'_T-T-Tak-ke-kesh-sh-shi...I-I'm s-sca-red-"_

_'Shh, just calm down Ryoko...' he shushed her, patting her head comfortingly 'I'm here...I'm here'_

Memories of when she left Japan to go back to her hometown back at the Philippines. They were 10, and he was stubborn and angry when she first told him about the news. He was reluctant to bid her goodbye, until he changed his mind. Wanting to see her one last time and a painstaking feeling on his chest.

'_I-I'll miss you' he stammered through the tears._

'_And I'll miss you_ _too Takeshi'_

Memories of when she returned to Japan 4 years later, in the midst of the Varia battle. She first stopped by their restaurant, Tsuna and Gokudera wondered who she was and why she was looking at the place proudly. 4 years had passed and already, she was that beautiful and lovely like always. He couldn't keep his eyes away from her, she was the most beautiful thing he has ever set his eyes on.

'_Takeshi! Kamusta na? It's been so long!'_

So many memories ransacked his head, bringing with him all those lost feelings regarding every memory. He remembered everything now. Everything about her.

_Farewell Takeshi, we'll meet again soon. Just wait for me alright?_

"OI TAKESHI! GET DOWN HERE, YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE!" he hears his jolly father call from downstairs.

"UO! BE RIGHT THERE OYAJI!" he calls back.

Putting on a new shirt, he rushes out his room grinning like crazy at the sight of Tsuna and Gokudera.

"Good Morning Yamamoto!" greets the short brunette.

"YAKYUU BAKA! WHAT TOOK YA!" screams the silverette teen.

"Haha! Morning guys!"

_Even if it takes forever, I will wait for you Ryoko._

* * *

**Woah, kinda lengthy don'cha think? Never thought that it would be this long. I kinda expected it to be about 2,000 words. FUCKER.**

**So? 'cha ? :D**

**Review 'aight? or else, Bianchi will shove her poison cooking down your throat! :D MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA~**


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